








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1205 | 34% |
| Smokes | 865 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 763 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,191 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | b0zke | 62% | 37 |
| #9 | ⛧ƂØЯɏ5 XD | 61% | 28 |
| #10 | Axel Blaze | 60% | 5 |
| #11 | CaptainCubasa | 57% | 14 |
| #12 | -c- | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GATRIS | +4.39 | 96 | 64 |
| #2 | majkell | +3.75 | 64 | 81 |
| #3 | Eqze | +1.97 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | Shou7yy | +1.94 | 93 | 55 |
| #5 | b0zke | +1.77 | 84 | 61 |





