








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1160 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1007 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 701 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 828 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,700 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HyperPencil™ | 51% | 113 |
| #6 | Riaslyn | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | Ketchup | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | ElectronZ | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Sh3lby烧饼 | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HyperPencil™ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | newbieatthis | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Sh3lby烧饼 | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HyperPencil™ | 150 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | newbieatthis | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Riaslyn | 68 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ketchup | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sh3lby烧饼 | 27 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don | +5.48 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Riaslyn | +4.39 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | ElectronZ | +1.23 | 70 | 39 |
| #4 | newbieatthis | +0.63 | 58 | 59 |
| #5 | HyperPencil™ | +0.47 | 69 | 58 |





