








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 546 | 32% |
| Smokes | 333 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 446 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 387 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $29,616 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phox | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Gσσ∂ιє | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | Sampen | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | 4br4 | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Miju | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Bobzy Malone | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | Royalty | 50% | 16 |
| #13 | Another | 0% | 2 |
| #14 | Tavish | 0% | 2 |
| #15 | skari | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Royalty | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ams | 1 | 0.0233 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Royalty | 47 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Bobzy Malone | 17 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #3 | .qwepsyy | 12 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | skari | 10 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #5 | 4br4 | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sampen | +5.06 | 49 | 65 |
| #2 | Gσσ∂ιє | +3.55 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | .qwepsyy | +2.91 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | 6U11 | +2.69 | 78 | 78 |
| #5 | ams | +2.67 | 73 | 77 |





