








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7491 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7199 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7381 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4929 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,929,258 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jessukkka | 57% | 100 |
| #7 | Melon♡ | 57% | 353 |
| #8 | Joon | 57% | 173 |
| #9 | retu | 54% | 68 |
| #10 | 39BURIED | 50% | 66 |





