








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2237 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2508 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1866 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $632,646 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fell | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Dave170 | 62% | 42 |
| #3 | Dyno | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | JackofAllTradez | 59% | 61 |
| #5 | ✪schockxyo | 53% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TiPi | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ✪schockxyo | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Terry loves yogurt | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | bingus | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | JackofAllTradez | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪schockxyo | 225 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | TiPi | 223 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Terry loves yogurt | 205 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dave170 | 88 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fell | 87 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JVAM | +2.56 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | JackofAllTradez | +1.33 | 67 | 53 |
| #3 | ✪schockxyo | +0.78 | 61 | 54 |
| #4 | Terry loves yogurt | -0.65 | 69 | 63 |
| #5 | Dave170 | -0.91 | 52 | 61 |





