








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 205 | 27% |
| Smokes | 56 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 227 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 273 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,551 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Freeman | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Duplexable | 42% | 48 |
| #3 | Not_A_Smart_Sandwich | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | izik | 14% | 7 |
| #5 | Citrus | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duplexable | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | John Freeman | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duplexable | 217 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | John Freeman | 23 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | izik | 17 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | Citrus | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Not_A_Smart_Sandwich | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Freeman | +5.92 | 63 | 79 |
| #2 | Duplexable | +1.50 | 41 | 74 |
| #3 | Not_A_Smart_Sandwich | -1.22 | 44 | 54 |
| #4 | izik | -4.38 | 48 | 54 |
| #5 | Gameboygamer64 | -4.87 | 15 | 31 |





