








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1590 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1145 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1242 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1410 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,710 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rankkapasi | 50% | 36 |
| #9 | Dyny | 47% | 47 |
| #10 | LaPaツ | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | RIKI SORSA | 44% | 48 |
| #12 | Likvidoija | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TPHN | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | FUCK SAUSAGES IN OVEN | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | tuikuri | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | RIKI SORSA | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Dyny | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TPHN | 293 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Heisak | 239 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dyny | 158 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | FUCK SAUSAGES IN OVEN | 134 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rankkapasi | 125 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TPHN | +2.58 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | Glapidi | +2.28 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | Rase | +1.28 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | Heisak | +1.09 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | Likvidoija | +1.02 | 86 | 66 |





