








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1743 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1217 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1476 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 903 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,892 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slatt | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | bolognese | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Mihael | 74% | 27 |
| #4 | EbK | 74% | 19 |
| #5 | Patix | 64% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | Impossible | 50% | 20 |
| #19 | Pexy | 47% | 19 |
| #20 | Timmy | 42% | 12 |
| #21 | unknown | 31% | 13 |
| #22 | 〄ArZy〄 | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reyn | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | HellCat | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Patix | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | shr1mpyy | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ✪︎ Gašperček | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impossible | 321 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | kuzma | 273 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | fromzero69 | 257 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mihael | 142 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Fici | 139 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EbK | +3.84 | 93 | 54 |
| #2 | Fici | +3.32 | 89 | 57 |
| #3 | Patix | +2.74 | 94 | 46 |
| #4 | Chill | +2.24 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | slatt | +1.79 | 91 | 65 |





