








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 239 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5866 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4419 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3073 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3189 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,680 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legendary Bob. | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Fici | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | Timmy | 58% | 64 |
| #4 | Pexy | 58% | 73 |
| #5 | shr1mpyy | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timmy | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | kuzma | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Chill | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Pexy | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Impossible | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuzma | 639 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Impossible | 319 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | Timmy | 261 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Fici | 204 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pexy | 181 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patix | +3.03 | 95 | 55 |
| #2 | Chill | +2.20 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Fici | +1.29 | 88 | 59 |
| #4 | fromzero69 | +1.20 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | Timmy | +0.81 | 73 | 64 |





