








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1343 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1962 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2695 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2164 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,890 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tarakanvse | 76% | 38 |
| #2 | JESUS IS KING!!!! | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | technig machine | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tarakanvse | 76% | 38 |
| #2 | JESUS IS KING!!!! | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | technig machine | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JESUS IS KING!!!! | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | technig machine | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JESUS IS KING!!!! | 180 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | tarakanvse | 122 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | technig machine | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tarakanvse | +5.33 | 97 | 60 |
| #2 | Zukkio | +1.57 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | JESUS IS KING!!!! | +0.70 | 76 | 72 |
| #4 | technig machine | -0.55 | 69 | 65 |





