








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1329 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1125 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 824 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1050 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,599 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1ckhey | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | haze | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | vlS | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Zukkio | 67% | 39 |
| #5 | tarakanvse | 67% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1ckhey | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | haze | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | vlS | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Zukkio | 67% | 39 |
| #5 | tarakanvse | 67% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tarakanvse | 118 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Zukkio | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | r1ckhey | 31 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | vlS | 17 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | haze | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tarakanvse | +3.66 | 95 | 53 |
| #2 | haze | +2.01 | 90 | 37 |
| #3 | JESUS IS KING!!!! | +0.87 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | r1ckhey | -0.81 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | Zukkio | -1.00 | 80 | 61 |





