








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1044 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 633 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10071 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9484 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7657 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6305 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,623,216 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 964 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yummmmm | 63% | 88 |
| #2 | cc october | 57% | 87 |
| #3 | ETHAN | 57% | 116 |
| #4 | ✪notfil | 56% | 108 |
| #5 | ˤ̙̘̗̖̔̒̓̑̐̏̎̍̚̕ | 55% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ˤ̙̘̗̖̔̒̓̑̐̏̎̍̚̕ | 55% | 66 |
| #6 | muscleman | 52% | 46 |
| #7 | Dat Player | 50% | 46 |
| #8 | Autismo | 48% | 289 |
| #9 | EYucky | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autismo | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ˤ̙̘̗̖̔̒̓̑̐̏̎̍̚̕ | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | ✪notfil | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | EYucky | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Yummmmm | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autismo | 582 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | cc october | 575 | 0.31 | 15 min |
| #3 | Dat Player | 382 | 0.37 | 9 min |
| #4 | ETHAN | 380 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | Yummmmm | 223 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yummmmm | +2.92 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | ETHAN | +2.75 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | ˤ̙̘̗̖̔̒̓̑̐̏̎̍̚̕ | +2.64 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Dat Player | +1.99 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | Autismo | +1.62 | 81 | 58 |





