








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Renown | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11885 | 44% |
| Smokes | 5816 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3751 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5441 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,450,747 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dartix | 62% | 90 |
| #2 | caraca | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Konrado ャ | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | Extima | 58% | 57 |
| #5 | General_Spinola | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | General_Spinola | 53% | 34 |
| #6 | headway | 51% | 148 |
| #7 | Dysto_ | 50% | 164 |
| #8 | MistahFox | 49% | 87 |
| #9 | Hagueyy | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dysto_ | 20 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | headway | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | MistahFox | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | General_Spinola | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | caraca | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dysto_ | 888 | 0.25 | 24 min |
| #2 | Dartix | 428 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | headway | 325 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Konrado ャ | 182 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | MistahFox | 167 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dartix | +4.23 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | Extima | +2.78 | 93 | 52 |
| #3 | caraca | +2.27 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | headway | +1.74 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | Dysto_ | +1.27 | 72 | 78 |





