








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1310 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1082 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 808 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 826 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,647 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZanymemerXD (Failure Arc) | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | CreativeGenie | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Purp Mar | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | j | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZanymemerXD (Failure Arc) | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | CreativeGenie | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Purp Mar | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | j | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | 20 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Purp Mar | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | CreativeGenie | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | 288 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Purp Mar | 134 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | CreativeGenie | 112 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ZanymemerXD (Failure Arc) | 27 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CreativeGenie | +1.70 | 57 | 48 |
| #2 | ZanymemerXD (Failure Arc) | +0.88 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | j | +0.53 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | Purp Mar | -0.74 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | Arcane | -0.96 | 50 | 59 |





