








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1326 | 51% |
| Smokes | 695 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 349 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 215 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,407 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Whiskers | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | jin | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Ulf | 44% | 57 |
| #4 | metso | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Dietmar | 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ulf | 44% | 57 |
| #4 | metso | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Dietmar | 42% | 62 |
| #6 | waffy | 39% | 18 |
| #7 | Tiny Rawrosaur <3 | 39% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiny Rawrosaur <3 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | General Whiskers | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Dietmar | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | jin | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Ulf | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulf | 145 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | metso | 59 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | jin | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | General Whiskers | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dietmar | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jin | +8.33 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | Ulf | +4.13 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | waffy | +2.23 | 54 | 61 |
| #4 | metso | -0.61 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | Tiny Rawrosaur <3 | -0.74 | 46 | 22 |





