








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 426 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1701 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 649 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1635 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $904,394 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Para | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Chills | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Peanut butter&Honey | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | t4tiana | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Para | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Chills | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Peanut butter&Honey | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | t4tiana | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peanut butter&Honey | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t4tiana | 69 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | Para | 62 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Chills | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Peanut butter&Honey | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chills | +2.17 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | Para | +1.85 | 44 | 74 |
| #3 | Raven^.^ | -1.49 | 37 | 40 |
| #4 | Peanut butter&Honey | -1.64 | 46 | 60 |
| #5 | t4tiana | -2.02 | 61 | 50 |





