










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3499 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3396 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4403 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1422 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,533 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diningberry23 | 50% | 207 |
| #2 | Soxxy | 49% | 284 |
| #3 | No This is Patrick | 49% | 171 |
| #4 | boog | 45% | 144 |
| #5 | kaz | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diningberry23 | 50% | 207 |
| #2 | Soxxy | 49% | 284 |
| #3 | No This is Patrick | 49% | 171 |
| #4 | boog | 45% | 144 |
| #5 | kaz | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No This is Patrick | 34 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | boog | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | diningberry23 | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Soxxy | 10 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No This is Patrick | 742 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | Soxxy | 527 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | boog | 367 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | diningberry23 | 366 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | kaz | 119 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fens0n | +2.57 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | kaz | +1.64 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | Soxxy | +0.45 | 62 | 62 |
| #4 | diningberry23 | -0.40 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | boog | -1.45 | 55 | 51 |





