








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 896 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Faceit | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5387 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5895 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3828 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3097 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,804,815 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dee jone | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | daze | 63% | 59 |
| #3 | FLrx | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | Pablito Espressobar | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Kricken | 52% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | daze | 63% | 59 |
| #3 | FLrx | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | Pablito Espressobar | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Kricken | 52% | 202 |
| #6 | SaKNeS♥ | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daze | 15 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | SaKNeS♥ | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Pablito Espressobar | 6 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | Kricken | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | FLrx | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kricken | 308 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | SaKNeS♥ | 157 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | FLrx | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | daze | 72 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | dee jone | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daze | +3.33 | 85 | 46 |
| #2 | Kricken | +0.96 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | FLrx | +0.80 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | SaKNeS♥ | +0.62 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | dee jone | +0.52 | 81 | 58 |





