








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 933 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




132 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1285 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1454 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2403 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1939 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,376,517 of utility $304 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | God of Pain | 70% | 56 |
| #2 | Novy | 65% | 57 |
| #3 | StrmbrG | 63% | 59 |
| #4 | chili344 | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | xse | 56% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dee jone | 372 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | God of Pain | 262 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | StrmbrG | 247 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pablito Espressobar | 200 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | xse | 163 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novy | +4.18 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | FlaggstångsknoppsputsareN | +3.87 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | xse | +2.90 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | daze | +2.32 | 87 | 47 |
| #5 | dee jone | +1.15 | 80 | 56 |





