








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 679 | 22% |
| Smokes | 907 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 769 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 718 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,583 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the meat man | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Michael Jackzyn | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | HomeDepot Glizzy | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | ODFJ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the meat man | 95 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | ODFJ | 64 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Based Guy | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Banana Joe | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Michael Jackzyn | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ODFJ | +2.83 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | Broom300 | +1.33 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Based Guy | +0.19 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | the meat man | -0.07 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | Michael Jackzyn | -0.95 | 56 | 55 |





