








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 642 | 35% |
| Smokes | 167 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 590 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,584 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bombe Beiss | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Dino_Man_ | 33% | 18 |
| #3 | Birdi_04 | 31% | 39 |
| #4 | Private | 30% | 44 |
| #5 | Hr Skæg | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dino_Man_ | 33% | 18 |
| #3 | Birdi_04 | 31% | 39 |
| #4 | Private | 30% | 44 |
| #5 | Hr Skæg | 29% | 21 |
| #6 | Gaymer | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hr Skæg | 5 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Birdi_04 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Dino_Man_ | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Gaymer | 2 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | Private | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birdi_04 | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bombe Beiss | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hr Skæg | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Private | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dino_Man_ | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bombe Beiss | +3.84 | 55 | 72 |
| #2 | Hr Skæg | +1.30 | 65 | 54 |
| #3 | Private | +0.61 | 41 | 12 |
| #4 | Gaymer | -1.02 | 51 | 6 |
| #5 | Gungadin | -1.54 | 37 | 46 |





