








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3782 | 46% |
| Smokes | 2321 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1367 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 763 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,374 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | With no Honey Mustard | 10 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | CsGoat | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | βπΈβπππππ | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Average Enjoyer | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Theybron (The Decision) | 2 | 0.0036 |





