








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2341 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2043 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 846 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1064 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,977 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniep | 50% | 100 |
| #2 | lawepsan | 44% | 32 |
| #3 | 12 year old boy | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniep | 50% | 100 |
| #2 | lawepsan | 44% | 32 |
| #3 | 12 year old boy | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniep | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | lawepsan | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniep | 475 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | lawepsan | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | 12 year old boy | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniep | +3.60 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Pini | -0.67 | 61 | 53 |
| #3 | lawepsan | -1.69 | 41 | 53 |
| #4 | 12 year old boy | -4.88 | 29 | 38 |





