








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3029 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2563 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3023 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1992 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,403,553 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tallys | 53% | 76 |
| #8 | Zhorran | 52% | 67 |
| #9 | heroaoki | 51% | 125 |
| #10 | SoulStealer | 51% | 88 |
| #11 | ZNN- | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bini | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | heroaoki | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Andlk | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Tallys | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | oreH | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andlk | 426 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | heroaoki | 271 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tallys | 255 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | SoulStealer | 218 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Zhorran | 214 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heroaoki | +2.97 | 65 | 68 |
| #2 | oreH | +2.64 | 65 | 72 |
| #3 | hiro | +1.42 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | Tallys | +1.28 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | ZNN- | +1.00 | 74 | 62 |





