










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5148 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3020 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2330 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2992 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,701 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZNN- | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | Tallys | 52% | 126 |
| #3 | ♋ VILAO ♛♛ | 51% | 88 |
| #4 | oreH | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | Andlk | 50% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heroaoki | 20 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Andlk | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Tallys | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | oreH | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Zhorran | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andlk | 1073 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #2 | heroaoki | 559 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Tallys | 433 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | 7 4 M p S | 368 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | Zhorran | 322 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hiro | +2.83 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | oreH | +2.72 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | heroaoki | +2.62 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | ZNN- | +1.75 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | Bini | +1.26 | 83 | 62 |





