








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3895 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3692 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2513 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2605 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $962,951 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bible | 57% | 82 |
| #2 | Sirolecor | 56% | 87 |
| #3 | hörsnil | 52% | 270 |
| #4 | Mahtisonni | 52% | 160 |
| #5 | DrPositivity | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hörsnil | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Mahtisonni | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | bible | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Sirolecor | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | DrPositivity | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hörsnil | 796 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | sademetsävelho | 591 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | Sirolecor | 359 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | bible | 351 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mahtisonni | 223 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirolecor | +1.52 | 67 | 73 |
| #2 | Taylove Swift | +0.69 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | hörsnil | +0.48 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | DrPositivity | +0.36 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | bible | -0.25 | 74 | 58 |





