








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4775 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3408 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4878 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4151 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,403 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bible | 59% | 74 |
| #2 | Sirolecor | 55% | 93 |
| #3 | Taylove Swift | 52% | 270 |
| #4 | Mahtisonni | 52% | 194 |
| #5 | DrPositivity | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taylove Swift | 79 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Mahtisonni | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | bible | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Sirolecor | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | DrPositivity | 6 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sademetsävelho | 730 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | Taylove Swift | 729 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | Sirolecor | 359 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | DrPositivity | 327 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | bible | 310 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirolecor | +1.31 | 66 | 74 |
| #2 | Taylove Swift | +0.67 | 70 | 71 |
| #3 | DrPositivity | +0.57 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | hörsnil | +0.50 | 64 | 74 |
| #5 | Mahtisonni | +0.06 | 47 | 67 |





