








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 207 | 18% |
| Smokes | 272 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 404 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 262 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,186 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voluk | 48% | 42 |
| #2 | Counttis | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | Kimple | 43% | 49 |
| #4 | Skynet.tns | 40% | 42 |
| #5 | emukki | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kimple | 43% | 49 |
| #4 | Skynet.tns | 40% | 42 |
| #5 | emukki | 39% | 36 |
| #6 | My Toe Tuo Pi | 38% | 37 |
| #7 | VARTIOMIÄS | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | My Toe Tuo Pi | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | voluk | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Kimple | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | emukki | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voluk | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | emukki | 72 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kimple | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Skynet.tns | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Counttis | 64 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voluk | +8.92 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | Hehvosenviljeliljä | -0.25 | 50 | 38 |
| #3 | My Toe Tuo Pi | -0.46 | 56 | 24 |
| #4 | Counttis | -0.66 | 33 | 47 |
| #5 | Skynet.tns | -0.67 | 47 | 66 |





