








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3146 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4613 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3542 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3755 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,623,352 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soLdeC | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | 30yoTALENT | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | Nörte | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | steliokontos | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | ✪ Yaska_ | 52% | 353 |





