








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 871 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1571 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1138 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1160 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,098,378 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 約翰·希南 | 51% | 85 |
| #10 | cigsbae | 50% | 210 |
| #11 | cube | 48% | 130 |
| #12 | CornHub | 47% | 68 |
| #13 | Г2 Месси | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorma1975 | 978 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #2 | misq | 787 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #3 | cigsbae | 556 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #4 | ♥ r1CΞy :3 | 481 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | Volkowski | 327 | 0.11 | 7 min |





