








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 925 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 219 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2667 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2838 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1944 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2235 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,011,819 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elekai | 48% | 81 |
| #2 | Arthas Menethil | 46% | 176 |
| #3 | MBDTF | 46% | 107 |
| #4 | MasterPlebicus | 45% | 150 |
| #5 | Desxp | 45% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MBDTF | 46% | 107 |
| #4 | MasterPlebicus | 45% | 150 |
| #5 | Desxp | 45% | 177 |
| #6 | D4rkSw0rD4 | 44% | 118 |
| #7 | Trevor Hogan Jr | 28% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthas Menethil | 27 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Desxp | 26 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | D4rkSw0rD4 | 17 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | MasterPlebicus | 16 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Elekai | 9 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthas Menethil | 653 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Elekai | 446 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #3 | Desxp | 341 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | MasterPlebicus | 335 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | MBDTF | 327 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterPlebicus | +2.93 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | Ramage | +0.88 | 66 | 54 |
| #3 | Arthas Menethil | -0.43 | 47 | 56 |
| #4 | D4rkSw0rD4 | -0.58 | 45 | 42 |
| #5 | MBDTF | -0.60 | 67 | 52 |





