








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2958 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2463 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 307 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 1276 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,248,023 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 470 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | 66% | 61 |
| #2 | probablyHorton | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | eddie | 61% | 69 |
| #4 | -Verse_ | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | Keenoxbeeno | 49% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | 66% | 61 |
| #2 | probablyHorton | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | eddie | 61% | 69 |
| #4 | -Verse_ | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | Keenoxbeeno | 49% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keenoxbeeno | 22 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | 9 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | -Verse_ | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | eddie | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | probablyHorton | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keenoxbeeno | 563 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | eddie | 408 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | -Verse_ | 158 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | probablyHorton | 99 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | +4.24 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | eddie | +3.06 | 89 | 51 |
| #3 | Templar Knight | +2.89 | 88 | 56 |
| #4 | -Verse_ | +1.46 | 87 | 40 |
| #5 | probablyHorton | -1.05 | 85 | 53 |





