








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4160 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2722 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1218 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2647 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,742 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eddie | 64% | 58 |
| #2 | Templar Knight | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | -Verse_ | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | Dr. Sploooge | 58% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A2Xgamer | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Templar Knight | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | eddie | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | -Verse_ | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eddie | 367 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #2 | -Verse_ | 135 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | raMeN | 86 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Templar Knight | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eddie | +3.74 | 89 | 48 |
| #2 | -Verse_ | +3.14 | 89 | 40 |
| #3 | UwU Muncher #EKITTEN | +2.96 | 84 | 53 |
| #4 | probablyHorton | +1.92 | 89 | 60 |
| #5 | Templar Knight | +1.22 | 86 | 58 |





