








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1081 | 31% |
| Smokes | 662 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1074 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 620 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $890,184 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasple | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Yung Dracula | 53% | 91 |
| #3 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | 51% | 80 |
| #5 | s y k e N ` | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | 51% | 80 |
| #5 | s y k e N ` | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | Roberino | 49% | 97 |
| #7 | ♛ zXobic | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Dracula | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Roberino | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ♛ zXobic | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roberino | 341 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | 225 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Yung Dracula | 141 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | 109 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | kasple | 61 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | +2.61 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | +1.08 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | Roberino | +1.05 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | s y k e N ` | +0.88 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | kasple | +0.51 | 48 | 66 |





