








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 100 | 5% |
| Smokes | 991 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 557 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 416 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,640 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .f l o r i d a R o l f | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | NeO_NeX | 43% | 30 |
| #3 | Lrx' | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | Zoko71 | 41% | 110 |
| #5 | Sh3lm0 | 39% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoko71 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Lrx' | 4 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | Kyrie | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Sh3lm0 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | NeO NeX 60hz | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoko71 | 101 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sh3lm0 | 70 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kyrie | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | NeO_NeX | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | NeO NeX 60hz | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeO NeX 60hz | +4.08 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | NeO_NeX | +3.76 | 88 | 61 |
| #3 | Lrx' | +1.78 | 81 | 76 |
| #4 | .f l o r i d a R o l f | +1.30 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | Zoko71 | +0.55 | 56 | 49 |





