








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1702 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1585 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1122 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,906 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m2mm | 367 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | iCrisby | 272 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tex Mex | 248 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | черепаха | 128 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | who dis | 104 | 0.15 | 4 min |





