








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 848 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2221 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2036 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1698 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $418,322 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jauhelima | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | ☂Masazッ | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | evvk | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | ★Nipa★ | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | allu | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | allu | 49% | 59 |
| #6 | ⛧koopee⛧ | 49% | 80 |
| #7 | HarjuuZ | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | The Geeking Man. | 44% | 80 |
| #9 | ᛗᚨᛏᛏᛟ | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Nipa★ | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Jauhelima | 11 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | ᛗᚨᛏᛏᛟ | 9 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | The Geeking Man. | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ⛧koopee⛧ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu | 254 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jauhelima | 199 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | ⛧koopee⛧ | 190 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | The Geeking Man. | 149 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | ᛗᚨᛏᛏᛟ | 122 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧koopee⛧ | +2.38 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | ☂Masazッ | +2.25 | 59 | 69 |
| #3 | evvk | +1.52 | 69 | 39 |
| #4 | HarjuuZ | +1.18 | 43 | 34 |
| #5 | ♿Jusbeee♿ | +1.07 | 64 | 62 |





