








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 837 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Faceit | 328 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6326 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5207 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 9246 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6615 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,176,502 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0nkz | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | Finess | 53% | 300 |
| #3 | Swoopty | 52% | 294 |
| #4 | Sìlas | 52% | 87 |
| #5 | Mongo | 51% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Finess | 53% | 300 |
| #3 | Swoopty | 52% | 294 |
| #4 | Sìlas | 52% | 87 |
| #5 | Mongo | 51% | 122 |
| #6 | Erzza | 43% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finess | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Swoopty | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Mongo | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Sìlas | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Erzza | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finess | 637 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | Swoopty | 463 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | Sìlas | 169 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mongo | 96 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Erzza | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0nkz | +1.40 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Finess | +0.98 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | Sìlas | +0.68 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | Swoopty | +0.13 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | discoflip | -0.03 | 57 | 65 |





