








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2510 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5653 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5608 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5211 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,365,156 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1588 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | discoflip | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Swoopty | 51% | 243 |
| #4 | Finess | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | discoflip | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Swoopty | 51% | 243 |
| #4 | Finess | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swoopty | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Mongo | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Finess | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | discoflip | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swoopty | 482 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Finess | 93 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | discoflip | 81 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mongo | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0nkz | +2.26 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Finess | +1.32 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | Swoopty | +0.25 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | discoflip | -0.57 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | Mongo | -0.84 | 58 | 40 |





