








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6033 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5580 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2611 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4490 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,248,244 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheeb | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Juan Sloppy | 65% | 143 |
| #3 | Meow | 65% | 37 |
| #4 | Speedy | 64% | 122 |
| #5 | Ultracarrick | 62% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Sloppy | 17 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Aarymir | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Speedy | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Dwizzy | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Meow | 5 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheeb | +4.76 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | Juan Sloppy | +4.06 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | A.W.D | +3.67 | 85 | 62 |
| #4 | Ultracarrick | +2.13 | 71 | 72 |
| #5 | You A QT ♡ | +1.45 | 85 | 60 |





