








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1086 | 24% |
| Smokes | 565 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1552 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1412 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,841 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | harambe | 60% | 131 |
| #2 | SirSebi | 56% | 167 |
| #3 | 🍞 | 55% | 172 |
| #4 | Beyond | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | harambe | 60% | 131 |
| #2 | SirSebi | 56% | 167 |
| #3 | 🍞 | 55% | 172 |
| #4 | Beyond | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirSebi | 31 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | harambe | 26 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | 🍞 | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Beyond | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirSebi | 185 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | 🍞 | 182 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | harambe | 137 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Beyond | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manni "Mansen" Manfred | +2.75 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | 🍞 | +0.11 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | Beyond | -0.11 | 73 | 32 |
| #4 | harambe | -0.38 | 75 | 29 |
| #5 | SirSebi | -1.12 | 69 | 41 |





