








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 357 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1058 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1168 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 779 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,132 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skogsturken | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | NiToManato | 47% | 116 |
| #3 | k0s | 47% | 163 |
| #4 | ubersloth | 47% | 66 |
| #5 | MaxSchmekker | 45% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | k0s | 47% | 163 |
| #4 | ubersloth | 47% | 66 |
| #5 | MaxSchmekker | 45% | 107 |
| #6 | chilly | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | nasse | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0s | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | NiToManato | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | MaxSchmekker | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | ubersloth | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0s | 166 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | NiToManato | 161 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | ubersloth | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | nasse | 71 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | MaxSchmekker | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiToManato | +5.82 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | nasse | -0.49 | 87 | 77 |
| #3 | BigB♥ | -0.76 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | k0s | -1.06 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | skogsturken | -1.89 | 69 | 59 |





