








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1314 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1229 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1116 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1201 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,955 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archibald Hasseldorf | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | 椿 | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | P1ne1 | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Saint George of Fentanyl | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | murph | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archibald Hasseldorf | 5 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | P1ne1 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | murph | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | 椿 | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ren | +1.67 | 76 | 49 |
| #2 | Saint George of Fentanyl | +0.09 | 63 | 35 |
| #3 | 椿 | -0.46 | 78 | 31 |
| #4 | Archibald Hasseldorf | -0.98 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | murph | -1.00 | 85 | 47 |





