








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2432 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2947 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2431 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2059 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,940 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Snadles | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | Motimoukari | 44% | 106 |
| #8 | t0psi | 43% | 37 |
| #9 | Skeddayoden | 34% | 29 |
| #10 | LG-mies | 34% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Motimoukari | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Ckeby | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Skeddayoden | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | LG-mies | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Thehemuli | 1 | 0.0013 |





