








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 477 | 23% |
| Smokes | 542 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 523 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 557 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,491 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JUR1S | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | .jjap1-.-ZDRUfKO | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Michael Scofield road 2 eagle | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | KajbOnE | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | M3D1C1N0S | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | M3D1C1N0S | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | Cartier | 44% | 45 |
| #7 | SuM-1 MDFK | 29% | 24 |
| #8 | BaXi#23 | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | ☞☆DarkeZ☆☜ | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cartier | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | M3D1C1N0S | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | SuM-1 MDFK | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Michael Scofield road 2 eagle | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | .jjap1-.-ZDRUfKO | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .jjap1-.-ZDRUfKO | 161 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cartier | 157 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | M3D1C1N0S | 135 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | SuM-1 MDFK | 135 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | Michael Scofield road 2 eagle | 124 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Scofield road 2 eagle | +2.22 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Cartier | +1.63 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | JUR1S | +0.35 | 55 | 66 |
| #4 | KajbOnE | +0.08 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | M3D1C1N0S | -0.38 | 75 | 66 |





