








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1883 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1426 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1348 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1493 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $689,747 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☄ Bumboclad | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Tuff | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Tuff | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 48% | 126 |
| #5 | Bamse | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tuff | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Tuff | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 48% | 126 |
| #5 | Bamse | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | SPEC | 38% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPEC | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Bamse | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Tuff | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Tuff | 5 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 788 | 0.30 | 20 min |
| #2 | Tuff | 254 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bamse | 217 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tuff | 133 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | SPEC | 117 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuff | +2.48 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | +2.26 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | ☄ Bumboclad | +0.61 | 52 | 68 |
| #4 | Bamse | +0.42 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Tuff | +0.29 | 69 | 70 |





