








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 721 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1455 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1836 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 970 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,047 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mathletics | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Peter | 50% | 208 |
| #3 | Gypsy | 26% | 23 |
| #4 | DRUNK | 23% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mathletics | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Peter | 50% | 208 |
| #3 | Gypsy | 26% | 23 |
| #4 | DRUNK | 23% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Gypsy | 9 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | DRUNK | 6 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter | 349 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | DRUNK | 110 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gypsy | 82 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mathletics | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter | +1.23 | 60 | 60 |
| #2 | Mathletics | -0.12 | 48 | 47 |
| #3 | TouchMeElliott | -0.45 | 52 | 47 |
| #4 | DRUNK | -1.32 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | Gypsy | -1.43 | 75 | 51 |





