








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 671 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 850 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




206 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9197 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5567 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7337 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6267 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,505,762 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11907 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munt | 54% | 94 |
| #2 | Peter | 44% | 118 |
| #3 | Iron Grip Testicle Puncture | 43% | 111 |
| #4 | Brioche 🍔 | 43% | 102 |
| #5 | DRUNK | 43% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iron Grip Testicle Puncture | +2.94 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | Munt | +1.87 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Peter | +0.88 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | DRUNK | +0.42 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | Gypsy | +0.30 | 76 | 57 |





