








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Esplay | 32 matches | 1,726 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2154 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2558 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4196 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2648 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,768 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -viejo- | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | vAGNILD | 52% | 83 |
| #6 | Ossa | 49% | 115 |
| #7 | -JABME1STER- | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | sawnyg | 43% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sawnyg | 487 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ossa | 192 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | vAGNILD | 128 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | -JABME1STER- | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | -viejo- | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |





