










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3025 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4189 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3118 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2889 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,501,195 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bischof Stefan Oster | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | nase | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | KingUbu | 44% | 173 |
| #4 | Rasenmäher | 41% | 130 |
| #5 | LBurgi | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bischof Stefan Oster | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | nase | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | KingUbu | 44% | 173 |
| #4 | Rasenmäher | 41% | 130 |
| #5 | LBurgi | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingUbu | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Bischof Stefan Oster | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Rasenmäher | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | LBurgi | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | nase | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingUbu | 424 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bischof Stefan Oster | 271 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Rasenmäher | 93 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | nase | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | LBurgi | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bischof Stefan Oster | +1.71 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | 2 : 1, Diaz best player | +0.83 | 50 | 57 |
| #3 | nase | -0.10 | 42 | 61 |
| #4 | KingUbu | -1.01 | 65 | 61 |
| #5 | Rasenmäher | -1.94 | 61 | 46 |





